He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I forget how to act sober
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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