I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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