that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
be right there i have to get my cape
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
