May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
