Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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