3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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