I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
