Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
