when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
