I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
