can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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