If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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