Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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