Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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