We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
