so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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