even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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