just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
