I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
