i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
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I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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