I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
