i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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