I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize