At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
