I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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