My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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