I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
