I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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