i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
