Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
