It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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