I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
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We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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