I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So apparently I’m into choking now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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