It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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