I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
