In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
