Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
