Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
