i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
