but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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