Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize