Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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