these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
