OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
