Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
