Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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