She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
