so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
