But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
