So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This house was built for laser tag.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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