guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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