Only a mothe r could love this liver
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
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woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I had to cum in my sink.
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