There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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