It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
