put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
