Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We have so much sex to catch up on
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
