I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
