Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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